YM GAP!! I can see a generation of youths stepping
up to pray for the ministry!

When i thought 4 weeks ago the GAP size was just a rare explosion! But for more than 4 weeks straight already and the prayer ministry is still going strong in numbers! INFACT its actually
growing still!!! And every week we still see new faces of youths wanting to make their Fridays free to come to GAP to PRAY!!!! Its reallyyy so encouraging to see how GAP has grown over the
years! Certainly what God has said to me last sunday came true indeed, that this ministry will
only continue to grow! Soon it may actually really reached more than 53(the currect GAP
facebook size!)

Click here for YM GAP 4 weeks back...



(About 46-48 Gappers were here today!!! Thats if i counted correctly!)

Anyway's God revealed to me what you abt to read below....He said this is something that is needed to be shared to the gappers since 2 weeks back at my FBH retreat! And its so timely how today is the posting for the J1s and more than 50% of the gappers today are J1s, so i guess this message applies to them even greater!

Do read on!....

YM GAP SHARING – God’s Calling For us

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. [a] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." Jeremiah 29:11-14 (NIV)

When Jeremiah uttered these words, he was reminding the people
of Judah about a key principle behind God's dealings with his
people in any era. It is a principle still very much at work today:
God wants to bless us, not harm us...

Whatever the circumstances of your life, whatever important and
life-changing decisions face you,remember that God is in control
of your future. He knows the plans he has for you, and they are
for your good. When you come to the crossroads and you have your
heart set on turning right, he may want you to turn left instead.
You must be open to God's leading in whatever direction
he sees is best for you. If you follow his leading, you will be
in the center of his will,fulfilling the purpose he has in mind.

Do you ever feel tempted to give up? Perhaps right now you feel
overlooked, forgotten,mistreated, and you want to quit.
Satan's goal is to get you to do just that--throw in the
towel and call it quits. Discouragement is his favorite weapon.
But remember this:while disappointments are inevitable, discouragement is a choice.

If we are ever going to reach our full potential, we must understand a very important truth:
God is for us, He is not against us. In Babylon, Israelsorted out her faith and rediscovered her
deep need for the Lord.

God often uses trials to position us for greater blessing.
Even in times of great disappointment,
He has our best in mind. He knows how He wants to use the
disappointment or hardship
for our benefit, and He desires that we see Him as our
only source of salvation and blessing.

When you feel tempted to yield to discouragement, go to God in
prayer. Tell Him all you are feeling--the unkind ways you have been
treated that do not seem fair to you. God has an objective
view of the situation.He sees the future and knows the direction
your life will take. He also wants you to totally depend on Him
and not rely on the compliments or resources of others.While
disappointments will come-you live in a fallen world, after
all-you can live above it by focusing your heart on Jesus Christ.


If you are in an emotionally or physically difficult spot right
now, refuse to become discouraged.
Ask the Lord to reveal His will and plan for your life. Commit
yourself fully to Himand pray to obey no matter what it costs.
If you take this approach, then God will provide for you in
ways that far exceed human understanding.
[Life Principles SB by Charles Stanley re vv.10-14]

1) The Call to belong to God

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,I know that full well.My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. "Psalms 139:13-16

The worlds have this idea, e.g. that you want to be at the top of the corporate ladder, by thinking you’re the best in class…etc…it’s this action of…”Thinking to being it… then you are being it”

However, I would choose to suggest, the other way round, YOU ARE… than you be it.

“You ARE a CHILD OF GOD… and we belong to God…”

To become persons who have their identity as children of God and members of the Family of God

“And you also are among those who are called to belong to Jesus Christ.” Romans 1:6

“… to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.” 1 thessalonians 2:12

2) The Call to be God’s People (FULLY)

Who exist for the praise of His glory as we live out our true identity in all aspects of life in the church and world, which is expressed in the holiness or sanctification- discipleship.

“who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.” 2 timothy 1:9

God needs to be involved in everything we do, e.g. in school, our workplace, if not it’s POINTLESS. He and HE ALONE is the only REALITY. It’s POINTLESS to expend your energy in things that God is not in the picture.

As it says in Psalm 127:1 “Unless the LORD builts the house, the builders labour in vain.”

How can we possibly leave the creator from our works?

“Invest in things that last for eternity”

3) The Call to do God’s Work (Where ever you are)

Enter into God’s service in church and the world. This involved gifts, talents, ministries, occupations, roles, works, and mission.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.” 1 Peter 2:9-10

Illustrations:
God can change our plans for his…(story about sudden street E over my own plans)

We are very used to hearing Jer 29:11… but the verses I want to highlight is…V12-14... (Conditions)….

12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Illustrations:
God will CERTAINLY reveal to you when you truly intentionally seek him (OUR GOD is FAITHFUL)…(at FBH retreat)

14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD… "

Illustrations:
Sometimes God will just come! ( at recent combined service)

Questions to ponder:

1) When was the last time you really seek God?
2) When was the last time God revealed his plans to you?
3) Can you say you want to seek him with all your heart?

The Usual after GAP supper at kopitiam...

(ohh my.... kheng and glenn doing strange stuff as usual...)

Anselm's Ontological Argument on the Existence of God...

Anselm's Ontological Argument on the Existence of God...

The last couple of days,had some really interesting conversations with my good friend wenhao about theology, philosophy and well life in generally. Personally to me not often one can actually dwell and contemplate into such deep topics easily... but due to the interesting conflicting ideas that both of us have yet still maintaining the same core value at the end of the day, it brings out really active interesting discussions in our conversations...

Personally its nice to hear opinionated views from someone away from the usual school of thoughts you normally get in your own local church system. And the reasons why our ideas are always conflicting each other is bcoz as fundamentally as our own christian theology differs itself...e.g. he subscribes to the Calvinism doctrine,whereas i'm more in favour of the Armenian doctrine, and it follows from how we actually do & lead our life in general,mainly in our christian life, e.g styles of approach to ways of ministering, having a service,worship and even the extend of prayer......

And bcoz of this interesting conflicting ideas we have yet still maintaining our core value of knowing that we serve under this absolute unchanging God to us, the act of us talking abt it and sharing our personal views actually make us know our Faith even more, despite us knowing that we will never get a conclusion bcoz we can never resolve this forever going debate, however we both know at the end of the day who God really is to us, and his Sovereign character to us!

Interestingly we continue in our discussion abt theology is bcoz of the fact that we know that the act of talking it out, actually makes one ponder and contemplate on certain real life issues that maybe thrown to you, and in a practical way its good to be at least knowledgeable in such theology as personally i see it as our theology of God will lead to how we communicate our Faith and act out our Faith... And we need to live it consistently with our own theology of God... as i never subscribe to the term of walking in blind faith.... but of course thru out all this...at the end of the day our theology of God still needs to be constant with the WORD,with Sound doctrine being applied will produce Fruits that is clearly seen to be from God!

Anyway a side reading if your interested.... This topic of Anselm's argument was brought up during our converstaion on the Existence of God...if your into such deep theology..do read up on this interesting except...

Below is an extract....
of his arguement taken after the reading of ...

"the Fool has said in his heart, there is no God?..."Psalm 14:1

But, at any rate, this very fool, when he hears of this being of which I speak - a being than which nothing greater can be conceived - understands what he hears, and what he understands is in his understanding; although he does not understand it to exist.

This begins and ends straightforwardly. The fool understands the definition of God but denies that God exists. The first hint of strangeness comes in what seems to be a parenthetical remark: "what he understands is in his understanding". Anselm apparently proposes to treat the understanding or the mind as if it were a place, and to speak of things existing "in the understanding". Anselm's assumption here is that if I understand claims about God, then we may say that God exists in my understanding or in my mind.

For it is one thing for an object to be in the understanding, another to understand that the object exists. For when a painter first conceives of what he will afterwards perform, he has it in his understanding be he does not yet understand it to be, because he has not yet performed it. But after he has made the painting, he both has it in his understanding and he understands that it exists, because he has made it.

" If something exists in the understanding alone, but can be conceived to exist in reality, then that thing can be conceived to be greater than it actually is"

Personally in my own words, i came to a conclusion that God is just a totally different category from our own human mind,as we can NEVER COMPREHEND this great absolute being in the limitation of our own human mind...this shows how INDESCRIBABLE our ALMIGHTY LORD IS! Amazing right! =)

(an extract of a page of his writings..)

For a paraphrase and more clearer view of his Ontological Argument click the link below...
Click here for full link to Anselm's Argument

The Holy Spirit just fell upon me.... CNY at Muar,Malaysia...

The Holy Spirit just fell upon me.... CNY at Muar,Malaysia...

Back from MALAYSIA!!!...

Sunday - Combined Service @ YM!

I was soooo waiting to blog abt this service! It was the first combined service of the year!!! And the FIRST service for my sec 1s too! And we have Rev James Singh back to share a message on prayer!!!

Anyways its really strange yet inexpressible experience that happen to me that sunday... i remember thru out the whole service i cldn't fully focus on the sermon as i was actually trying to get my sec 1s to focus on the message most of the time, and than later during the altar call,the presence of God was so strong at the altar as i saw youths in front getting touched by the Lord some even being "slain by the Spirit" (aka resting in the spirit) and although I wasn't an altar minister that day, i really wanted to help out especially as i saw my SEC 1s going to the front! (Rmb this is their FIRST SERVICE IN YM!).. but then i cldnt be an altar minister that day as I cldnt be at the pre service prayer as i was doing XT interviews then, so the only thing i cld do was to just help out at the back, to pray and maybe to help bring the bags further back of the hall......

....and while in the process of just helping out near the back of the altar...suddenly this HUGEEE PRESENCE came upon me! It was something sooooo unexpected! Bcoz i wasn't fully even expected to be prayed for or to receive anything in this service... but it still came..suddenly i dunno why i started crying and i was just brought to my knees...(this is actually the first time i think i actually cried with some tears!) it was so REAL!! Bcoz no one prayed for me! And i was in the process of doing work and just helping out.... and as i was down... God's presence just filled me... and gave this strong assurance of His Love for me....I was really in AWE of HOW REAL GOD WAS!!! its so hard to describe the feeling...and God even told me.... that the prayer ministry in YM...will start growing even more and more! And God is really doing something in this youth ministry!!!! Later i was talking to some of my youths and wow .... they certain were touched by the Lord espescially Yun ying who excitedly told me how SHE LIKE SUDDENLY FELT so HYPER and JOYFUL and said how much she loveee YM!.... Hahha! Its so encouraging to see this youths suddenly feeling this great fire especially this is their FIRST EVER SERVICE!!!!

Right after service... had to rush of the malaysia...and really wish i cld have catch up with more of them...especially my own small grp too....oh well...cant wait to see them all sooooooon!

MALAYSIA,Muar....
Day 0..nothing much... just reunion dinner...and sleep sleep sleep....

Monday-Day 1...
Still feeling sleepy most of the time...really dunno why...but the place there just make u feel drowsy...... breakfast..lunch.(the same food again)........still feeling bored...doing nothing...den finally some excitement out of the hse... was invited to go out for some GOOD and cheap Asam fish with some of my relatives...followed by...... GOLF!!!!... and this is the FIRST TIME in my 19 years of my life i actually had the chance to go to a Golf Driving range and actually hit a Golf ball with a reall CLUB!!!

The golf range at muar...


(My cousins and uncle golfing...and meee first time on the club! Well got some pretty nice swings...one which went nearly 180 metres!...but than yet some which went pretty off! hee..oh well a good start...oh dear...its pretty addictive!!!)

Day2...
Back in Singapore! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

Going off to meet some of my 1T02 Cj friends now!!! OH Yeaa!!! We haven't met up for quite awhile!!!!

The eventful last few days!!!!

The eventful last few days!!!!

Weds-Friday...
Review 3..

(Gifford doing his presentation!... Photo on right my detailed layouts!)

(ran abt 5km at bedok reservoir for the first time in quite a long while!)

TCHOUKBALL C'License coaching...

(Everyone lazing around during our break time in the room where we had our theory test)

(thats our PTM and Pastor! haha! During the break time of our tchoukball coaching practical test!...need to wait a week more to see if we pass the theory and practical!!!)

YM GAP!!! Still growing as usual now we got to move to a bigger room! with an average of 40 ish gappers for the past 3 weeks in a row already!

Saturday

(YM GYM FELLOWSHIP!....... Thats the birthday boy KHENG!!!!)

(Our LARGEST YM GYM FELLOWSHIP to date..and somemore quite a number of the regulars cldnt come today!)

Crosstrainer CNY gathering at Alex's hse! (Photos courtesy of alex's chen too)

(the really niceee Grange road mahattan mansion!.... at Grange road!!!...while walking along this road, it reminded me of the good old days when the times when the stgabs soccer team wld have our South zone semi finals & national rounds here at the teacher's network just opps her hse! So nostalgic!)


(The lovely CROSSTRAINERS!!!)

(Playing with spaklers! ............ the lovely fooooood!)

(we hang out at the roadside for the rest of the night!)

(Me and Nick!)

(The wonderful fellowship outdoor)

(The place where we hangout for the rest of the night!)

(The "OLDIES"... im the youngest XT out of this lot!)

What a lovely day!....
Can't wait for YM COMBINED SERVICE TMR! Where my lovely sec 1s..GEL will come for their first ever YM Service!!!!.... With guest speaker Rev James singh coming down too!...

Alrightyyy will be away for chinese new year right after the church service to malaysia, muar....... from 25-27 Jan!!! And will be back on tuesday!!!!! So signing off bennnnn...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!! Hope to seeyall soon! God Bless!

God's divine plans!

God's DIVINE plans in action!!!!
Today came to school for this 24Seven prayer thing under LOVE SINGAPORE, and this week is Campus Crusade For Christ turn to be doing this LITERALLY 24 hrs slots of prayers for this 7 days straight, and with the focus on Campuses and schs today, We had a 1-3pm slot in TP, so a bunch of crusade staff came down as well as some students from crusade... And wow... this was one prayer meeting where one can really sense God's presence so strongly with us as we worship and prayed openly with fellow Christians who are really just so passionate for God!!!

After the grp prayer we went in pairs to various part of the sch and did a prayer walk, and personally this is one prayer walk where somehow i cld sense the Holy Spirit so clearly interceding for us with such clear guidance of what to pray for, its like we just prayed and prayed for abt 45mins straight! Like for example, i prayed with this crusade staff victor(from internet ministry) whom i just met for the first time, but bcoz of the same Holy Spirit in both of us we cld be just ONE in SPIRIT, having that common burden and prompting as we walk thru business sch and than the mushroom area! And i was so amazed as how God prompted us even by various signs around us... and it sure wasnt a concidence meeting him today as found out he has similar passions with me in using internet as a tool for outreached,and this very blog your reading right now is one of my minstry which is close to my heart.

(As we sat at the mushroom, this is the picture of TP with that HUGE signage that prompted us on a certain issue to pray about)

(We were just prompted to pray that the DREAMs of this students would really be all Christ centrered)

(This write up actually spoke to sam as she just saw that same cooking instructions thats same morning from a cooking show!... and it prompted her to pray that this students here will really be that SALT and LIGHT for the campus!)

And you know what happened next.... God change my plans for his! hee... as i was orginally intented to go for a run & gym in TP after the prayer thingy... but when found out that some of the staff were going witnessing on campus and with irene inviting me to join them, i decided itsss best i do something even more worthwhile instead! And WOW..... I was so blessed today!... and i only just realised as I was thinking back this morning, i actually prayed my favourite prayer again... "for a chance to reach out to someone, before i step out my hse"....AND WOW...GOD always never fails to answer... I not only had chance to share once...but FOUR TIMES to 4 different grp of students! As Irene and me tried this new method of evangelism using Photos instead of the usual surveys to do outreach to this students!

And personally to me i felt this was a better method compared to the other traditional method as we can get more opinions and thoughts of the person we sharing too by just using those photos to hear how they describe their life!!!! And well! We manage to plant the seeds to this student lifes! As they were all really open in their sharing as we shared to 2 buddhist and 2 christians who all have really very different perspectives of life... and with the other pair zhi qiang and qingwen sharing to 2 prebelievers that same day. =)


(These were the photos we use to do the evangelism, and THANK YOU irene for blessing me, by giving this pack of photos to me in the end. =) , i will definitely use this wisely for the LORD!
http://www.mysoularium.com, the american version can be found on this site...)

Indeed one exciting day for the LORD!!!! =)

G.E.L....God's Everlasting Love

G.E.L....God's Everlasting Love (My beloved Sec 1s)

Sunday
Promotion day for the sec 1s from the children ministry(CM)...
These sec 1s have moved to Wesley YM officially today! And we manage to have some real nice time as a grp today, first thanks to my lovely assistants Hilary and Andrea for leading them in a short icebreaker before we started!...and I'm so proud of my beloved sec 1 grp! They are really starting to take some ownership...from one of them initiating the name G.E.L (God's Everlasting Love) last week ...and that followed by a unanimous decision on this name!

And God really answered my prayer over the week as i was praying for a vision to share with this young grp of sec 1s... and our ever FAITHFUL GOD... revealed this to me as the first verse which links to the grp name... "...I have loved you with an everlasting love..Jeremiah 31:3"....
and then the LORD than revealed this verse that was just PERFECT for the vision for this grp G.E.L......"And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:14" ...

With that EVERLASTING LOVE within the grp from the LORD, this will cause the UNITY of the grp..hence the name GEL too! They GEL WELL TOGETHER huh! hee... =)

(the Upper Sec youths from CM)

(G.E.L......at our room in YWCA... FAITH ROOM)

(photo below courtesy of hilary...)

(G.E.L ysg...Hilary,Andrea,Angeline,Hazel,Grace,Joshua,Eugene,Marcus,Me(Ben Lau),Thaddeus,Charmaine,Yun Ying,Sean and Kesley).... really hope that this grp photo on our first gathering together at YM, will not drop but instead have a healthy growth in numbers...I'm just so excited to see this sec1s grow up till that very day when we are able to compare this photo to maybe 5 years down the road... =) )

God's Call for My Life (Revised)

I will remember this date 17/1/09...

This 2 days 16-17 Jan 2009 @ PraiseHaven, was where i attended this retreat "Fellowship of the Burning Hearts (FBH) under Singapore campus crusade for christ where a selected few graduating students who have some desires or questions abt full time ministry came together from Poly and University to seek God's calling... Looking back at the sequence of events that happen yesterday...and especially looking back at the totality of my life ever since my life changing experience in end year 2005.... I'm in AWE of GOD...to see God's fingerprints in every part of my life prior to this day. 

Day 1- Friday  
After DG with my crusade disciples rushed down from TP all the way to the west at upper bukit timah taking abt 2 hrs in total to reach Praise haven. And one thing that really made my day was this random Indian guy suddenly offered to guide me in this crowded bus 170 and the strange thing was I didn't mentioned I was lost...But he kindly offered to help me and asked if I needed guidance on where to stop. 

At arrival, I initially felt a bit out of place as realised that everyone there was way older!  They were mainly all graduating Uni students and I was the only one from poly at that point of time. Soon after Estella and Maggie from RP came later. In the end there was just, me 1 TP guy, 2 Rp girls and a big grp of NUS and NTU students. 

The first night session was by one of the crusade staff, Desmond who shared on a Renewed Perspective of God... And God really spoke to me part through his message and it kept on resonating in my heart.

(Above is an extract of the message outline... What he said hit me right in the heart, He said sometimes we actually KNOW IT... but are we SAYING IT?... another thing that God reminded me is, GOD is FAITHFUL, Seek Him and YOU WILL FIND HIM, TAKE GOD AT HIS WORD!... and its all said in this retreat theme verse...)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

After this night session we had a really good sharing over supper at Rail mall, with our TRP Crusade staff Irene. And present there was Estella, Maggie and myself. Through the discussion, it made me realised more and more of God's leading. Irene asked us a series of questions which hit me... "lets say i have no restrictions,no boundaries,and i just have a desire of where I would want to go, where would that be?...my heart kept beating so fast and that deep inner desire in my heart was RIGHT there... but i just couldn't say it!... it was hard! I KNOW it...but i just can't say it!...

After that we went back to our dorms, and my mind was just pondering and thinking non stop, in the bathroom, back at the rooms and through out that night! (sidetracking a bit...i'm very grateful to all those NUS students in that dorm who made me feel welcome since i'm the only TP student and youngest in their midst)...

Back in the dorm I started to read some articles that they gave us... 

(This is part of it...Read this to enlarge...)

(This verse convicted me as I read it)

(And this was the last sentence of that article...) In the end... I went to sleep praying for God to reveal to me more...maybe in a dream?)

The DREAM..
And it Happened...GOD MEANT IT! 

I don't know if I was over thinking, but I remembered my entire dream the next morning! Or was it kind of a vision in my sub conscious mind? It was strange, I was in my very same bed in that dormitory, I looked directly infront to see this rectangular sign at the edge of the bed frame opposite me and very vaguely trying to see what the words on it was saying.. I can't remember exactly what it was, but I know its along the lines of..."SAY YES" or "JUST TAKE IT", "DO IT"..."SAY IT".... soon..I woke up......

Day 2 - Saturday
I took a quick bath..and went to the playground near our dorm..
( I sat on the steps, and prayed.... open my devotional, and bible...and read it...)
And ...GOD SPOKE RIGHT INTO MY heart as I read on and on... my devotion was talking about looking back at the past at what God did for me...

The first verse that spoke...
"In the past God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe. Heb 1:1-2"

And than i read on from Hebrews 3:1-11..and wow.. on verse 7-8 it says...
"So, as the Holy Spirit says: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts....."

I just needed to let God speak, and for me to listen.... And next the reminder again from his word...to look back (exactly what irene share the night before abt looking back old journal entries to see how God has revealed things to me in the past) ...

And the WORD OF GOD just SPOKE AGAIN...this verse said this ...
"For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. Romans 15:4 "

And than I sat still..just listening to that still small voice... and a sense of deja vu came... like when I was at the Dreams & Destiny room (at the Worldwide day of prayer at the Crusade HQ last year)...and the thoughts from God filled my mind...The words in yellow ,I believed is God's still small voice to me... I decided to write them all down in my jounrnal as it came...
"He told me to think back all the way to the time of the CROSS...when he died for ALL my sins, forgave me and REDEEMED me!" And he reminded me again.. "GOD IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL to me... and the question came.."Is it God desire for me to go full time ministry"...and my answer to the Lord....was a clear.... YES... Next.. "Ben..Focus on me(Jesus)..You can Trust Me..."Where ever it is"..."I'm always faithful to you. REMEMBER THAT.. I will provide for your needs"...And again..He said remember GOD IS FAITHFUL ALWAYS...and just be OBEDIENT to the call..."

From here on I was still in struggling in question with the Lord... ok full time..but WHERE?... to my church, particularly in Wesley Youth Ministry? Or Campus Crusade?... anyways after awhile I decided to wait again for further direction in the near future..anyways I still got 2 years of NS to decide....

The next session was by Sharon the wife of the current national director of Crusade, as she shared her journey with the Lord from the scriptures of Numbers ch 13 to 14... And then she shared the EXACT SAME VERSE that gave her the desire to go full time! And it was that same verse that led me to have a change of heart desires at that very worldwide day of prayer meeting in october last year..it was the verse... "Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD;trust in him and he will do this. Psalm 37:3-5"

God has place that desire in my heart to serve Him WHOLLY AND FULLY in a Full time christian vocation when I won't be restricted by my bosses, clients,colleagues or the job requirement in the secular world, especially in the design industry... and as of now, God has revealed enough light for me to take that next first step forward..and to response with and SAY A CLEAR YES!... "HERE I AM...SEND ME..."
Looking back in year 1, I still remember my initial thoughts of seeking my calling in life... I kept putting the thoughts of full time ministry aside, only till end of year 2...when God allowed me to be open to it...and year 3...where God reveal more and more to me.

Immediately, when I got home I shared this to my parents first... and my mom responded that the old devotional book that I used a year ago also spoke to my sister TODAY for something else...And then it occurred to me to look back all my past devotional entries,and journal writings about a year back... and I remember I journeyed this in my blog.... EXACTLY ONE YEAR AGO.... EXACTLY 365 days back... I made a decision to surrender my dreams & ambitions to allow Him to lead me where ever He called me...

LOOKING BACK.... (piecing together that providential call)....

Click here for the actual Flash back of my journal entry EXACTLY 1 year ago on 17 Jan 2008 (my first call)

An extract of that post..."Today QT... just an extract from my devotion... "EVERYDAY WITH JESUS" by Selwyn Hughues..... 

Before i started today QT... I told God to continue to reveal to me his purpose and calling for me, and basically to really speak to my heart... and well today passage was base on "Judges 5:1-18...  Some will find the year ahead to be one of the most exciting of their lives, and will be determined to respond to all the challenges God gives them. Others of us, I am afraid, will be like Asher who "sat still by the seaboard,clinging to his Creeks" (V.17)

Well the former immediately does relates to what im feeling now! INDEED 2008 seem to be an exiting year ahead and I'm determined to response to God challenges! Anyway basically this whole passage is questioning us if we are that "CREEK-Minded" Christian like Asher in (V.17) or an OCEAN-minded Christian where you are ready to accept all the plans God has for you who is willing to lose the little in order to reach out the BIG. Well the latter really spoke to me.... Am im really READY for the BIG THING GOD has for me? I can confidently now say a resounding... YES! But right now i'm just waiting for that continual assurance of what really my TRUE Calling really is! And when im that sure! I will go for it!... is it to be used by God in the market place? or serve Him in a Full time vocation? Thats an area of my life that I will continue to Trust the Lord as I live each day for HIM....

And You know what... That desire and assurance I wanted from GOD CAME!!!! And some of you all remember this ... my first clearest call of direction... Click here for (Dreaming With God) The second call(the direction that came)...

But if you think this was all...I looked back even further...and remember possibly my first first ever calling.... that i wrote down on my blog...and it was on DAY 1 of YM camp 2007, I still remember so vivdly the series of events... this was my exact writing of my post 2 years ago "at the start Pastor Alvin ask everyone to quieten their hearts and hear what God want to tell us abt out destiny... And the thought of "to minister to others" kept appearing in my mind. I dunno why but... I believed it was from God. ".. after this was also followed by the AUDIBLE VOICE i heard of "HEY BEN" at the end of his sermon in that quietness...

Click here for YM camp 2007(Read day 1 entry)..The first real call...when followed by when i heard that AUDIBLE VOICE...

Anyways i'm just sooooooo sooo excited for what's install for me to come! I feel this great sense of relived now saying it confidently! But now... i know my main purpose is to still continue in my walk with the Lord! And I must still have that SPIRIT OF EXCELLENCE in my Final Year Project! =)

Knowing You Jesus....

Knowing You Jesus....
Was reminded of this very nice song today when jolyn led us with this song at our crusade LM... first heard this song at my recent YM CAMP but forgot abt it till today...and its so ministering just listening to it! Anyways after all those researching on the Navy Diving Unit(NDU) vocation, reading forums, hearing opinions from many ppl and of course praying abt it...i think i have come to a decision that... I would just GIVE MY BEST in the NDU physical test on Feb 3, i wld share honestly my concerns during the interview...and if they still want to take me in after my sharing...i think ITS REALLY GOD's will already! hahha! Thanks joelle for that short affirmation too!!! =)

Anyways check out the song and lyrics below...

Knowing You
by Graham Kendrick
This song comes from words penned by the Apostle Paul while in jail, waiting execution. It touches the head and heart of the follower of Jesus Christ, because it lifts up our best friend as the most important "thing" in our lives.

All I once held dear, built my life upon,
all this world reveres and wars to own,
all I once thought gain I have counted loss,
spent and worthless now compared to this.

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You.
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best, You're my joy,
my righteousness; and I love You, Lord.

Now my heart's desire is to know You more,
to be found in You and known as Yours,
to possess by faith what I could not earn,
all surpassing gift of righteousness.

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You.
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best, You're my joy,
my righteousness; and I love You, Lord.

Oh, to know the pow'r of Your risen life,
and to know You in Your suffering,
to become like You in Your death,
My Lord, so with You to live and never die.

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You.
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best, You're my joy,
my righteousness; and I love You, Lord.

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You.
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best, You're my joy, my righteousness;
You're my all, You're the best, You're my joy, my righteousness;
You're my all, You're the best, You're my joy, my righteousness;
and I love You, Lord.

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. -- Philippians 3:7-11

Anywayssss I will be away at this crusade retreat on Friday to saturday called "Fellowship of the Burning Hearts" where a specific few students who have some desire to serve full time come together and share their struggles and concerns in doing so.

That short conversation with my staff,irene last wednesday, made me reflect back abt that very day God gave me some direction for my life, and to be honest i haven't thought or prayed abt this for quite awhile ever since a similar crusade retreat "About Finding Your Calling" at the bb hq few mths back...

And now with only few days to go to this FBH event at PraiseHaven on 16-17 Jan... i'm actually pretty excited to what God has install for me!

(Actual link of past post on blog abt God's direction for my life) http://benlau89.blogspot.com/2008/10/dreaming-with-god.html